Pretend
by zulka
Summary: -Hiromi Centric- In which Hiromi reflects, and comes to terms with what is and isn't and probably won't be.


Pretend

by: zulka

(Hiromi centric)

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She wondered, thinking back to that day in the bus, as she stared at the girls sitting a few tables away from her. Julia, Mathilda, and Mariah, they seemed to be having fun and she couldn't help looking their way. They had invited her over when they had entered and she said she'd go, later. She toyed with the food on her plate. Her soup was cold and she couldn't bring herself to eat it, even though she felt guilty for wasting food. Maybe Tyson would eat it. He ate anything.

She tried to zoom in to the things the boys were talking about. Daichi was arguing with Tyson, as always. Rei was conversing quietly with Kai while Kenny spoke with Max about his new upgraded beyblade. She felt out of place. She had been feeling out of place lately. Well not just lately but a lot of the time. She just ignored it.

"Hey, are you okay?" Rei stared at the petite Japanese girl sitting next to him. He had watched how her eyes had brightened when Mariah and the other girls invited her to sit with them. But he wondered why she had declined because that was what Hiromi had done after all.

She looked up to see Rei staring at her with concern and she smiled. "Yeah. I'm fine."

"You haven't eaten your food." He commented looking at her untouched soup and pasta. The food was probably cold by now.

"Oh I just wasn't hungry like I thought I was." She told him, as she too looked at her food. She wanted to get out of there. To leave them. They wouldn't notice really. "I'm just tired I guess. I haven't been able to sleep." She told Rei before she looked up and shrugged. All the time she avoided Kai's eyes, which were staring at her and she was sure that if she looked at him, he would be able to tell she was lying.

She had learned that Kai had that uncanny ability to see right through people and it unnerved her sometimes. Because she had realize that most of the time he never really cared, it was just that his eyes were so intense that it made you believe that he was analyzing you.

She wanted to get out of there. She needed to think. To put everything in perspective and find that she was useful and not just some groupie as she had heard some new bladers call her. She stood up abruptly, catching the rest of the team's attention. "I'm heading to my room. I don't feel so good." She told them as she quickly left her seat and made her way out of the hotel's restaurant.

Tyson watched her leave with a strange look.

"What's her problem?" Daichi murmured as he too looked puzzled.

"Must be a girl thing." Tyson murmured before getting back to his food.

Rei looked at Kai who only gave him a blank look.

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When she entered her room she threw herself on her bed and cried. She cried until she felt her strength drain away, until she felt sleepiness descend upon her, until all she could think about was how tired she was.

It had to be done. She had found that she needed to do this in order to keep going and not think about what she wasn't. It was cathartic to cry it all out, her worries, her insecurities, everything.

She thought about everything, right from the beginning. From the time she was pulled into their world unwillingly, even though she remained willingly, to the stupid questions she would make because she didn't know anything and the pointed looks Kai would give her then. The arguments she had with Tyson, which weren't much anymore, now it was just Daichi.

But there was still that small part of her that yelled and screamed and wanted a chance. But the other side screamed for herself to leave it alone, insisted that she had embarrassed herself enough already. While the girls were cool and accepting, she knew she wouldn't truly be one of them in the same way that she wouldn't truly belong with the guys. Not in the way they belonged to each to each other, and that was the hard thing to accept.

It was what she had to accept, when they would talk with just nods or their eyes and she would be kept in the dark.

She sighed, her pillow was wet with her tears. Her eyes were heavy with sleep. She had thought that she had gotten to that point where it didn't matter but it did. Perhaps it would always matter, the fact that she wasn't truly part of the beyblade scene.

It mattered in those small gestures, in those whispers from fans, in the comments some teams made. The groupie, the cheerleader, that girl, and that was all she was. New tears fell down her cheeks. It wasn't like she could tell them, Tyson would probably want to find them and deal with them, Kai would scoff at her for being an idiot that listened to what other people thought, Rei would reassure her that it wasn't the case, Max would smile and give her hug while Kenny and dizzy would tell her that she was a valuable member of the team.

She sighed as she wiped her tears and sat up. She would take a nap. Tomorrow or later, whenever it was that she decided to come out of her room, it would be better. She would have cried and her heart would be dried and ready to be strong again.

Rei would ask her again if she was okay, Kai would give her that look that said he knew something was wrong, Tyson would have forgotten and not mention it, even though she knew that inside he wondered if everything was okay.

Perhaps, it wasn't that bad. Even if she wasn't part of their world, she was still part of their beyblade world and she was still their friend. Closing her eyes and smiling she exhaled, feeling somewhat better if exhausted and drifted off to sleep.

Tomorrow was another day.

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**Author's note**: I've decided that I want to focus on Hiromi more. I don't think she gets enough stories where she isn't paired with someone. So this story has no pairing. Anyways, hope you guys liked. Please review and tell me what you think. Anyways I've always felt that even though she was part of the team, she wasn't someone that would be very much missed if you get my drift if she went away and stuff. That was the idea behind this story.


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